Monday, February 2, 2015

Thanks, Bryce.

This is kinda a personal post, but I just feel like I need to write this down somewhere so that I personally don't forget it. And since I don't keep a journal anymore, this is the place I am going to write about it. This is just a warning. Don't feel obligated to read.

So, as I mentioned in my last blog post, I have been in a lot of pain lately. For the last few weeks, I have found myself multiple times a day fighting back the tears and trying so hard to be brave, but nothing has been working. Nothing I researched, nothing my doctors have told me about, no stretches or exercises I have attempted... nothing. Nothing was helping me. Frankly, I have felt like a pansy. Normally I think I am strong and brave and normally I like to think I have a relatively high pain tolerance. But I have truly been humbled lately as Bryce occasionally has literally had to pick me up and carry me around the house, allowing me to literally cry on his shoulder because walking at times was just too painful.

Anyway, I was sitting in sacrament meeting yesterday listening to testimonies. One girl got up and talked about priesthood blessings. It really hit home to me. I have had multiple times in my life when I have wanted to ask for a blessing, but I always hesitate thinking there is a level you have to meet before asking for a blessing. Like, things have to be a certain level of "badness" before it justifies receiving a blessing. For instance, I vividly remember sitting in my bedroom in high school with a ridiculous amount of anxiety about something (I don't remember what it was about) but I remember thinking for hours that I wanted to ask my dad for a blessing. But I didn't. Because I convinced myself that it was a silly reason, and things weren't "bad enough". Anyway. That's terrible, but the truth, nonetheless. As I was sitting in sacrament meeting listening to this girl talk about priesthood blessings, I knew right then that the only way I was going to get better was if I asked my husband for a blessing, and I had a very strong prompting to do so.

So it happened. Later that day, Bryce gave me a blessing.

And I am not saying that the blessing was some "miracle cure" for the pain I have been feeling, but I'll tell you what, today has been one of the best days I have had in what feels like a really long time. I needed to put my faith in Heavenly Father, and just realize that I can't do everything on my own. This whole experience has caused me to reflect on my favorite scripture in a deeper way:

"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things;..." - Alma 26:12

Thanks, Bryce for being there for me, and for worthily holding the priesthood. I know that things won't be perfect for the remainder of this pregnancy, but I know that because of the priesthood blessing you gave me through the power of God, I can be strengthened, and I can make it. Because "in HIS strength I can do all things."

1 comment:

  1. I know you are getting to the end of your pregnancy, but have you considered seeing a physical therapist. Usually they can adjust your SI joint and you can get a belt that can help keep your bones in the correct position. There are therapists who deal specifically in Women's health. You shouldn't feel like a pansy. SI joint pain is awful.

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