Some Final Thoughts

Well, hopefully I won't be pregnant much longer. And I just had a few last thoughts to share before we welcome this precious child into the world. This pregnancy has brought indescribable feelings to Bryce and me, both. I cannot believe that in a few short days, (probably) Bryce and I will be parents to a tiny, little, baby girl. At the same time, though, we are both so ready for this next chapter in our lives. We both feel like we have waited a really long time for this, and the day is almost here.

I have honestly prayed every day for the last couple weeks that E would be born... that day. Obviously it hasn't been the Lord's timing yet... but one day that prayer will be answered with the birth of our beautiful baby girl. I still have about a week and a half until the due date, but I want her here... yesterday. I do realize that the big day could still be a couple weeks out, and I know it is common for babies to be born after the due date. However, I will definitely keep praying she comes sooner because Bryce and I could not be more ready or excited!

This baby has already brought so much joy into our lives. Honestly, before all of this began, we had no idea how deeply you could love someone you haven't even met yet. But Baby E has proven to us that it is possible. We love her more than we thought we ever could. We miss her as if we have known her our whole lives, and we are finally about to be reunited again. I don't know any other way to explain these emotions. All I know is that I am glad she is almost here! I really don't think she could be welcomed into the world by parents who love her more than we do.

Ugh. And here come the tears again. This happens sometimes a lot lately. Twelve more days, baby girl. Twelve more days. :)

37 Weeks

Today Bryce and I took a little road trip up to the Ashton/Mesa Falls area. We took our camera and tripod to try to get some pictures of both of us with Baby E. Most of the pictures didn't turn out - probably because we don't know anything about photography or how to pose for pictures-  

but here are a few photos that I decided were bearable. 

We are both SO ready for E to get here! Hopefully not too much longer :) 

(I don't normally think I am a red head... but days like this make me reconsider this thought... I definitely have red tones in my brown hair if nothing else!)

Interesting, Uncomfortable, and Strange Dreams

I have had a plethora of vivid dreams lately. Here are a couple quick snippets of some more recent ones:

• I went to the doctor because I thought my water had broke. They told me my water hadn't broken, and it turns out I just wet my pants. 
• Baby E was born with no arms and only one leg. She was still cute, though.
• My feet, hands, and face swelled up so much that I could no longer put on clothing. I had to call my scheduled long term sub and let her know she had to start early because I couldn't put on clothes. 
• I went to the doctor for a routine check up. He told me that I had been carrying the baby for long enough, and that it was Bryce's turn now. He then scheduled a day and time for the baby to be transferred from me to Bryce. 
• I had just given birth and the doctors asked if Bryce wanted to cut the umbilical cord. He said no, knowing that it would probably make him pass out. But the doctors forced him to do it, anyway. He then threw up all over Baby E. 
• I apparently gave birth to a child without recalling it. I was handed a baby that looked EXACTLY like Hailey does in the picture below. (In fact, I now know that the child in this dream really was Hailey several years ago.) I was very confused how I could not recall going in to labor and giving birth, especially when the baby was as big as Hailey in this picture. But everyone told me I was a trooper, and that it only took 3 pushes to get her out. 
  

Anyway. There are a lot more that I have had, especially in the beginning, but I had them too long ago for me to remember the details. 

Most Recent Bumps

Here I am at 36 weeks

just before coaching on Saturday. 

Bryce and I cannot wait! It all makes me so happy. You know what else makes me happy? 

How excited Bryce is. 

I think it makes me even more excited to see how happy Bryce is and how excited he is. 

He is going to be the best dad. 

4 more weeks until we get to meet our baby girl!!! 

35 Weeks

35 weeks! I coached Saturday and decided to have Bryce snap this photo before I left to compare Baby E to a soccer ball. 

Well, the newest thing with pregnancy is "nesting." But maybe not in the way that normal pregnant people nest. I have been spending a LOT of time at school working on organizing, cleaning, decluttering, and preparing for baby girl. I feel this huge sense that I need to get ready ASAP for this baby to come. That includes 2 main things:

1. Sub plans. This is a lot more work than you would think. When a teacher is sick for, let's say, one day, it is a LOT more work to prepare stuff for a sub than it is to just suffer through a day of work while being sick. Well, just multiply your sick day preparation by 6 weeks, and that is what it is like getting ready for maternity leave. Although it is a lot of work, I actually have a lot of fun organizing and getting things ready for the sub. Yah, it takes a lot of time, but it kind of feels good getting this stuff ready. 

2. Getting my 4th graders ready for the annual 4th grade Lewis and Clark Play. This has been pretty fun and the kids are SO excited about it. But it is also a LOT of work. When I started working with my partner teachers getting things ready for the play, there was seriously an entire tub (like one of those big rubber made tubs) full of papers. Old play scripts. New play scripts. Play scripts with scribbled notes on it. Play songs. Parent notes. Old programs. Anything you can think of that has to do with a huge play production for ninety 4th graders. Nothing was organized. Nothing was digitized. Last year's program literally had one of the teacher's names whited out with a new name on top, and the picture they included with it was taped to the front so that they could make copies with the picture on it. All of this sort of looked like the stuff my nightmares are made of. But guess what. My nesting instincts kicked in, and I have almost completely finished typing up a brand new version of the play, prepared a new program, scanned in all the songs, compiled all of the audio, and typed up new notes for the parents. Then I put all the master copies in a 1/2 in binder and put all the digital versions of everything on a thumb drive and hooked that in the binder as well. Then I seriously threw away EVERYTHING from that tub and it felt great! I am excited that they will have this so nice and organized in the years to come! Also it was very therapeutic for me and my nesting urges. :) 

Anyway. That's it for now. :)

Thanks, Bryce.

This is kinda a personal post, but I just feel like I need to write this down somewhere so that I personally don't forget it. And since I don't keep a journal anymore, this is the place I am going to write about it. This is just a warning. Don't feel obligated to read.

So, as I mentioned in my last blog post, I have been in a lot of pain lately. For the last few weeks, I have found myself multiple times a day fighting back the tears and trying so hard to be brave, but nothing has been working. Nothing I researched, nothing my doctors have told me about, no stretches or exercises I have attempted... nothing. Nothing was helping me. Frankly, I have felt like a pansy. Normally I think I am strong and brave and normally I like to think I have a relatively high pain tolerance. But I have truly been humbled lately as Bryce occasionally has literally had to pick me up and carry me around the house, allowing me to literally cry on his shoulder because walking at times was just too painful.

Anyway, I was sitting in sacrament meeting yesterday listening to testimonies. One girl got up and talked about priesthood blessings. It really hit home to me. I have had multiple times in my life when I have wanted to ask for a blessing, but I always hesitate thinking there is a level you have to meet before asking for a blessing. Like, things have to be a certain level of "badness" before it justifies receiving a blessing. For instance, I vividly remember sitting in my bedroom in high school with a ridiculous amount of anxiety about something (I don't remember what it was about) but I remember thinking for hours that I wanted to ask my dad for a blessing. But I didn't. Because I convinced myself that it was a silly reason, and things weren't "bad enough". Anyway. That's terrible, but the truth, nonetheless. As I was sitting in sacrament meeting listening to this girl talk about priesthood blessings, I knew right then that the only way I was going to get better was if I asked my husband for a blessing, and I had a very strong prompting to do so.

So it happened. Later that day, Bryce gave me a blessing.

And I am not saying that the blessing was some "miracle cure" for the pain I have been feeling, but I'll tell you what, today has been one of the best days I have had in what feels like a really long time. I needed to put my faith in Heavenly Father, and just realize that I can't do everything on my own. This whole experience has caused me to reflect on my favorite scripture in a deeper way:

"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things;..." - Alma 26:12

Thanks, Bryce for being there for me, and for worthily holding the priesthood. I know that things won't be perfect for the remainder of this pregnancy, but I know that because of the priesthood blessing you gave me through the power of God, I can be strengthened, and I can make it. Because "in HIS strength I can do all things."